There are days you wake up and have no motivation to workout. But what happens when the
lack of motivation creeps into marriage, and you begin struggling to want to work through
marital challenges—it’s time to sound the alarm.
Is it unusual to get to a place in your marriage where you want to give up? Recently, I asked this
question to a couple who had been married 40 years.
They looked at me and said “Are you kidding me? Yes!” Then, they shared some dark moments
in their marriage. They admitted there were times when they just weren’t sure. But, they also
said, “We’re glad we stuck in there because we wouldn’t trade these 40 years for anything.”
How did they stay motivated? The couple told me their secret: “You just have to remember.”
“Remember what exactly?”
Remember your why.
Why’d you get married in the first place? People marry for several different reasons: love, kids,
a passion for another, to have companionship. Your why doesn’t have to match anyone else’s
why. The never-ending nature of your why can help you outlast the temporary challenges you
face in marriage.
Remember your story.
Pictures. Videos. Experiences. Memories mean little without the story attached to them. You
look at them to remember the story. It connects you with the positive energy captured during
the moment that’s worth remembering. Let that energy motivate you to keep going. Your story
helps you remember what you’ve built together. 
Remember to never stop connecting.
Keep searching for better ways to communicate, be playful, and spend quality time with one
another. Regardless of how challenging marriage gets, to stop communicating is never the
answer. Connecting in hard conversations, through disappointments, and in the midst of hurt is
better than not communicating at all.
Remember you’re not alone.
Many couples, if not most couples, have gone through difficult moments where they felt like
giving up was really the best option on the table. So, when you find yourself hurting and
questioning if it’s worth it to hang on, reach out to other couples who have walked the road
before you and made it to the other side in one piece.
When you remember these things, you’ll realize no matter how big the problems may seem,
your commitment to each other is bigger.


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